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Nicole was a rock star when it came to her outside life. She was soaring up the corporate ladder as an engineer and had a great apartment, a closet full of perfect clothes, and a full social calendar.

So why was she failing miserably at finding her dream man? And what was that nagging feeling of emptiness in the pit of her stomach late at night?

She had been trained by her PTSD Vietnam vet father to never trust anyone…yet to always follow her dreams. She had learned from her registered nurse mother that love was about saving everyone else first, at the cost of your own happiness. Society had taught her that overly ambitious, smart, slightly chubby women had no other choice than to become doormats for men in order to gain their love. Nicole had long passed her imaginary goal of finding her soul mate and being married by 27. Instead, she had found herself single, jaded by her prior relationships, and destined for short- term, single-serving trysts with transitory men.

How could she move on from a lifetime of not trusting love?

She needed to marry herself first.

This is Nicole’s true story of healing her heart by doing something utterly radical. She walks you through her steps from lost to living the life of her dreams with honesty and humor, showing the behind-the-scenes awkwardness of what it’s really like to learn how to love yourself. Her journey will leave you wondering…

Why didn’t I think of that?

Skiing Rose

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 26, 2022

I like the commitment of Nicole to stay true to herself and find the inner strength to be who she wanted to be! To disregard judgment and doubt and truly allow yourself to Love who she is,!! It is a lesson for all of us to realize the potential of pushing out the doubts and truly just “Being”. Thanks Nicole for reminding us to be True to Ourselves no matter what others say or do!!!

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aryana o’connor

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 13, 2022

I have had a hard time putting this book down! It has been quite a long time since I have allowed myself to read a book just for me, and I wouldn’t have picked anything else! I can relate so much to every chapter in this book. Nicole’s way of telling a story brought me right back to my childhood. I too was a chubby kid who got picked on because I only had one pair of jeans from a thrift store and only wore sweatpants the rest of the time because I didn’t want to wear mom jeans! My parents also had trauma that seeped out into their parenting style and I’m desperately trying to break that cycle with myself and my child. Reading her book reminded me that we are not alone in our trauma, and we need to take the time to love ourselves! Since reading this book, I have been inspired to take a workout class once a week for myself. For years, I have been telling myself that I “don’t have time” but really I was unwilling to make time because that felt selfish, but Nicole has helped remind me that taking care of myself is not selfish!

“You’re too fat. You’re too smart. You’re too weird. You’re too good. You’re too sexual. You’re broken. No one wants someone like you.” These words resonated with my childhood soul. These words, and more, were some of the horrible things I told myself over and over growing up! I felt so alone but there was Nicole, just a few hours away, feeling the exact same thing! I believe this book has the power to help women everywhere love themselves, heal from trauma, and find like minded people to bond with because of this book. A must read!

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YvonneB

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 10, 2022

“Marry Yourself First: A Modern Woman’s True Story Of Healing The Heart” is by far the best book I have read in a long time! A must read for every woman on the journey to healing a broken heart. A personal story that weaves in terms from both psychology and healing modalities to help the reader understand what is happening in the mind and body from a scientific point of view.

Brilliantly written, this book captures the reader right from the start with events in the author’s personal journey that all women can relate to in one way or another. Nicole Russo as a Myofascial Release practitioner has been able to capture in words how we heal from the deep wounds and traumatic events in our lives, that at times, we do not recognize as triggers for our current emotional and physical pain.

Marry Yourself First is written in part as a love story, a romantic novel that opens up our awareness of deep personal pain and the struggles to heal our heart so that we can be open to finding love. It is a fantastic book for men to read and see a glimpse of how emotional pain can become entangled in relationships.

If you are a mental health therapist or bodyworker, I encourage you to read this book to explore a compelling discovery of pain and self-love from a client’s perspective and share it with your clients. If you are client of mental health or receiving bodywork, I encourage you to read this book to get a deeper understanding of how the two work hand in hand towards you healing your heart and share it with your therapists. Nicole Russo has done a fabulous job in bridging a gap and creating a world, a pathway, a journey into the mind/body connection towards emotional healing!

5 people found this helpful

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Erin S.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 10, 2022

Nicole is an intelligent, no nonsense business owner and professional who’s been through the ringer of life experiences. In her memoir-meets-self-improvement book, she takes the reader on her own journey of self love and personal discovery to show the world that just because someone looks like they have everything figured out and put together on the surface, doesn’t mean they feel like they have it together. And sometimes you have to put it all in a blender and start over to achieve your perfect happiness, and that’s OK too!

Through a lifetime of hard earned personal discovery, Nicole shares the wisdom she’s learned along the way in hopes of helping anyone looking for a little more love for themselves find their path. Whether you just want a bit of a self confidence boost or are looking to completely overhaul your self image (like Nicole chronicles in the book), her story can help you find the first steps on this journey for you. It’s part love story, part self improvement, and part late night confessional with a life-long best friend.

The books reads like a no-nonsense memoir. Nicole speaks to her reader much in the way one tells a story to a friend–casually, with a good dose of humor, but not glossing over the less-than-sunny bits. She details the trauma she’s experienced throughout her life, but also the amazing breakthroughs too. The lessons aren’t always “Do this and your life will be better,” but more “here’s how I challenged myself and the results I achieved from doing so.”

CW/TW: Emotional abuse, Body shaming, Death of parent, Fatphobia, Toxic relationship, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Infidelity, Rape, and Sexual assault, Panic attacks/disorders and Terminal illness

2 people found this helpful

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Michael Spaulding

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 10, 2022

Typically I don’t read books. I was never able to get into reading and if I did, the book had to capture me within the 1st-2nd chapter which is exactly what ‘Marry Yourself First’ did. I couldn’t put the book down, I wanted to know more.

Being a Mom to a toddler & working from home full time, you don’t always have the time to sit down and read. But let me tell you, I made darn sure to find the time to continue where I left off. I finished the book in 6 days! Now to me, that’s impressive for myself.

At the beginning of the book, I was able to relate to Nicole on how she was the chubby girl in school, didn’t click with anyone & didn’t really have anyone that liked me. I knew right then that I needed to continue. Nicole really has a great way to keep you intrigued. Throughout the whole book, I always said to myself, what else? What else happen to her? Who else broke her heart? I knew she had to have found love somewhere and someone who wouldn’t break her heart so I continued on – and sure enough, the ending will have you in awe!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I recommend it to anyone that may have any doubts on if they love themselves to buy this book. You won’t be disappointed.

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Rk Russell

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 10, 2022

From the first page, right to the end, this book was like having a cup of much needed Self-Love with the best of friends! The author is inviting and compassionate, kind and hopeful and supportive in all the right ways. I found myself nodding along at the beginning, and then I was hooked. Perhaps more than ever, connection is what is missing from my life, and I am sure so many others and this book is a bridge to feeling better in body, minds and soul! “Marry Yourself First: A Modern Woman’s True Story of Healing the Heart” should be on everyone’s shelves for those times that we forget that we have a choice to honor and embrace an everlasting love — the kind within our own arms. But, it’s not all serious and deep thinking, this book will invite you to laugh and smile and feel like anything is possible. Thank you Nicole Russo De Souza for sharing your story and not only being an inspiration, but for giving us the tools to move forward, to reclaim the parts within us that are not gone, they just needed us to light them from within.

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Robin

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 12, 2022

I was immediately engaged by the author’s candid writing style. In this relatable story the reader is taken on a heartfelt journey from self-doubt to self-empowerment and self-love. My attention was captured and held throughout as this beautiful love story unfolded. The perfect mix of laughter and lightheartedness while dealing with serious topics of abuse, bullying, PTSD, and trauma. I highly recommend ‘Marry Yourself First’ … a must read!
Robin Tanguay
Author: The Willingness to Change :Twelve Steps to Transformation Through Your Handwriting

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Amazon Customer

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 11, 2022

I highly recommend this book; “Marry Yourself First” by Nicole Russo DeSouza. It resonates so much with those of us who grew up in the shadow of fathers who were distant, post war soldiers that tried to be a family man and fell short in their own humanness. Nicole and her sister did the best they could to survive as did their mom. This well written and easy to read book provides the reader with insights into who Nicole is and how she took responsibility for her life, her choices for her future and shows us that Self Love is so much deeper than saying “I Love You” to yourself in a mirror. Her journey of discovery has led her to create an amazing life and she holds nothing back in an attempt to help you take steps to create a life worth Loving, but only if you are ready.

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Amazon Customer

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 20, 2022

For those of you die-hard romantics…would you ever really stop to marry yourself? Where did the prince go? Where’s the gorgeous Friesan horse he was going to pick me up with?

Nicole DeSouza made me really stop…dead in my tracks….and read this book….while I sped read it…the information in here is LIFE CHANGING….

As a person new to Myofascial Release John Barnes) that was my instant connection to Nicole….plus the extraordinary Joanna Hunter helped too….MFR has helped me release lots of trauma in my cells….years’ worth….and Nicole’s book truly helped me to get the most from my last treatment.

It IS OK TO LOVE….yourself.

Follow Nicole’s incredible journey as she shares with humor, wit, experience and above all LOVE…..

What are you waiting for? Get this book. LOVE you as the gift.

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Joan

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 11, 2022

I could hear Nicole Russo De Souza’s authentic voice speak from beginning to end of Marry Yourself First: A Modern Woman’s True Story of Healing the Heart. Her journey to self-love is a courageous one that she shares “warts and all.” While reading her story, which is heartfelt and at times heartbreaking, I found myself relating to her vulnerability…sometimes cringing or crying, but always cheering her on as she navigated the pathways to believing that she was worth loving. Her ultimate commitment to loving herself first, as she lived through some painful truths, allowed Nicole to manifest her true love and soulmate and embrace the next chapter of her life with joy. Regardless of where you may be on your own life and self-love journey, this is an inspirational read: buy the book!

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